I was going to write a Christmas list, but it would be too hopeless, because all the stuff I want is expensive.
Stuff makes me happy. Things I don't need but want make me even happier.
I want to be independent and young. And rich. 
I think I live to want. What fun would it be without wanting something and working for it? 
I was slacking. I know, for over a month.
I don't even expect people to comment anymore.
And sometimes I want to talk to a stranger. Just dial some random number and start talking. because i just cant say these things because because and i want someone who wont be to biased of what i say about other people because its okay and im just ranting for those couple of minutes and then itll change and itll all be better even though i know its bad or whatever even though i dont think there is a good or bad and i have an assignment due tuesday and i have a feeling ill forget and i cant because if i do i wont have enough time to finish it mondy and then ill be screwed because of some myth creating crap. and all of this is nagging at my brain and eating it up and i just want the day to be over and the weekend to come and just go home and sleep and eat because im so tired. i dont even know why i take zero hour.
How are you doing?
Did you eat?
I don't wanna wind up being parted, broken hearted.
I haven't written much in a while.
You know how if you haven't done something in a while, it's hard to start up again?
Kind of like that.
Well, I went to the airport yesterday.
I was just thinking about leaving.
How it would be like when I do.
It's kind of depressing.
Pack up all my things.
And tidy up relationships.
Say goodbye.
Just got the album today.
Of course, it just came out today.
but i want to savor it, it's not a classroom listen-to-in-your-spare-time-in-a-loud-environment music(even though I will prbably end up listening to it tomorrow in class anyway).
It's listen-to-in-the-passenger-seat-when-nobody's-saying-anything music.
But I haven't listened to it yet. So I dunno.
I hate waiting. And anticipating. It turns out to be so disappointing. but i know i'll love the eraser.
Mm. so many things to do. so much procrastination.
what am i gonna be doing at 9:50pm anyway?
except practice guitar. and practice vocal.
goodnightgoodbyesweetdreams
Speechless.
At a human being's ability to jump to conclusions.
And mine, to describe them as being "in vain."
Fruitless.
Annoying, but not irritating. Like being full of sleep.
Like a fly buzzing around your head, but not disturbing.
Not really caring. Not angry.
It's no surprise.
No message really coming through.
Except, "I'm annoying, deal with me now. I'm annoying. I'm annoying. I'm annoying... I'm annoy... --
--bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz bzzzwzzz"
"Will you please just let me sleep?"
"bzzzzz zzzz wzzzzeee --"
swat.
I love it when people call me.
Just to talk.
Not because they need anything.
And I would like to be able to call someone.
But it's hard when you haven't called them in a long time.
And I'm so zen. So at peace.
And I don't care.
I don't care about people who used to annoy me.
Because I know how I deserve to be treated.
And already have people who treat me like I should be.
So I have nothing to lose. :]
And it's great.
And I don't mind being occasionally bitchy to assholes who deserve it.
Like when people who are always assholes to you ask for a dollar so that they can have a sno-cone. Which is completely rude.
Yeah.
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